The following is a short story (profile) essay written for my college writing class. I would love any input on it before I turn it in. Please be critical, as it is only a rough draft. Thanks!
“If you don’t have a code I can give you one”, said the overly blond haired lady. She turns toward the man staring blankly into the screen of his own red box. He barely acknowledges her presence and continues staring after a grumble. There are others waiting patiently, and not so patiently. A nice stay at home mom type is waiting with her children. The children look at the brightly lit sign next to the red box depicting film covers. This is a Saturday night at the local McDonald's where the two red boxes sit side by side, never alone, always enjoyed by the many patrons.
As the cars continue to drive into the once scarce parking lot, the commotion begins. Where there was once a line forming for the McDonald’s drive through, a new line emerges. It seems that these newcomers are already full. They are after something different. Children scream, babies cry, women console the young and old. It’s a sight to behold. The McDonald's staff, weary after the late afternoon rush, just lounge at there posts by the front counter watching as the flood of guests come mockingly close. No one goes in this late, except for a few college students, but everyone is getting what they want. There is a feeding frenzy here, without food and, if you’re lucky, without price.
A big suburban drives up to the closest stall. It takes up almost two to make up for the doors flinging open. At least five children jump out before their father even has it in park. He sits and watches as his family runs, jumps, and skips in anticipation toward the Red Box. The mother extricates herself from the vehicle and as she casually walks toward the Red Box her slow speed is explained by her large stomach. She is pregnant. The children are excited by her arrival to the Red Box. They shout, and shove. They point at film covers, and the little one starts a fake cry. The mother turns and says something like, “Everyone settle down or no one gets anything!” She pulls out her credit card in order to pay, and the children continue. They know all too well she is bluffing. The children make their selections, and the mother makes the purchase. They’re only a dollar, she thinks to herself; why not make them all happy. She is thinking about the peace and quiet these movies equate, once they are home. As the Mother and children are occupied with the Red Box the father sits and ponders; the car still running. The cool air from its air conditioning blows in his face, making him rest his eyes and causing his hair to blow slightly in the breeze. It is hot.
The pavement still gives off its heat captured by the long day of sun exposure. It smells oily, and dirty. There is still a strong cense of summer, although fall is trying to step in. In Utah there doesn’t seem to be much of a fall. There are no leaves to turn, no corn to turn brown, no frost on the windshields in the morning only leading to an all too hot afternoon. No, there is no fall in Utah. The summer drags on until late in the year and then one day it snows. This is life in the mountainous desert. This is normal for this Utah family.
Mother, finally having made her purchases, makes her long journey back to the family hot-rod. She is exhausted after the 35 paces, and the circus of children. It’s a good thing school started already she says lovingly to the father as she pulls her enormous body into the vehicle. The whole thing shakes under her shifting weight. After hollering back to the kids to quiet down the Father puts the car in drive and slowly makes his way out of the cramped parking stall back to the road. He pauses a second for traffic and then continues out onto the road. They will be back again tomorrow. This family routine never gets old, at least not for the children…
Where there was once a circus of children, and a ring leader mother, now stands a different kind of circus. There is still a line of patrons awaiting their turn at this game. Some wait twice just to browse both machines. A young couple, obviously decided never to have children after what they just witnessed, talk quietly to each other. She looks at him longingly, and gives him the “please-get-a-girly- movie” face. He tries not to be affected by it, but sighs and browses back to the previous page where the newest Jane Austin flick awaits his purchase. Her face brightens immediately and his slightly falls. As he reaches out to select the film with one hand he pulls out his wallet for a credit card with the other. The blond haired lady reiterates her question, this time posing it to the young couple, “I have a code if you need one.” The young man freezes. “Okay,” he replies, his slight frown lifting as he realizes this one will be free. She responds, “It’s a god one. Just type in BIGMAC… with no spaces.” She smiles at him smugly. The young man keys it in and swipes his card. The balance shows $0.00. He is really smiling now. Both the young man and his partner are smiling as they walk away. They walk to the road’s edge and then at the moment traffic slows on the busy street they run across.
“Probably still college students,” says the blond haired lady to nobody, “they shouldn’t cross there. It’s dangerous.” As she continues talking the growing number of patrons also continue, no one is listening to her. Everyone is content with the glowing screens, making their eyes shine in the darkness as they wait their turn.
Almost everyone is there with someone, and those who are alone aren’t really alone. They are engaged in conversation on cell phones, probably talking to loved ones and friends, awaiting the arrival of a Red Box movie at home. One man with a cell phone stuck to his ear peruses the list echoing each title into his phone as they appear on the screen. After only a short time he has his orders. He makes his selection and uses the “BIGMAC” code the blond haired lady has since given to everyone. This Red Box isn’t making any money tonight, but this is the Red Box executive’s best scheme. The movie is free tonight, but if it’s not returned by tomorrow at 9:00 PM it will cost you a dollar, and a dollar for every day afterward as well. For the next twenty-five days they make a dollar, until the movie is considered paid for and then it’s yours. Most people consider it a good deal. It seems easy enough to return a movie the next day, but is it really?
One man drives right up to the Red Box, not even parking in a stall. He calls out as he makes his way toward the Red Box, “I need to return this! Can I just get through for a second?! It’s already been a week!” He receives compassion from someone who has likely done this herself. Canceling out of the “Rent a DVD” section she selects “Return a DVD” on the touch screen, “Go ahead,” she says, “It’s almost nine o’clock.” The transaction only takes a second and as the man thanks her for her kindness she smiles and reports she too has lost a DVD, only to find it a week later. Red Box wins again. One “free” DVD has cost this man seven dollars, and he watched it only once!
Patrons and friends are beginning to weed out. The night grows and people scatter. A mostly young generation of college students come and go. The line has died off, and Red Boxers are all home watching their “free” DVDs. Except for the few Red Boxers who venture out into the late night the Red Boxes have completed their duty. But there the Red Boxes stand beaming brightly all night long.